(Stormy April skies)
I cannot believe it's April already! Sorry for the silence but once a little bug hits our house, it hits everyone! Luckily, I scraped by this one but barely! God has been so good to our family and has really protected us from a lot of sickness that has been going around.
I know it's been awhile but I wanted to write a
reflection post while things are fresh on my heart. My mom, sister and I are reading through the bible in a year. I have done it several times but it's been awhile since I tackled this. God is already showing me new insight into how practical His Word is. Sometimes, I feel as if the Bible characters could never, ever relate to how I am feeling, the things going on in my culture, and the day to day activities going on in my home. But of course, the Lord always blows my mind and shows me that there is truly
"nothing new under the sun", and that we as human beings share all the same emotions, struggles, and victories no matter what century it is :)
A couple years ago, we lived in a tiny two bedroom apartment. Hazel was barely one and the twins were 8 weeks old or so. I was so sleep deprived, William was working 2 jobs equaling nearly 70 hours a week, and the feelings of loneliness were almost unbearable. I even remember where I was sitting when out of the blue God's warm presence filled the room and He spoke these words to me.. "I see." Yes, only two words but they were powerful ones! God sees me... all the sleepless nights, the dirty diapers, screaming babies, the early mornings, the times I fall asleep reading the Bible, the things I go
without so that my kids and William can
have, the dreams that go on the shelf for another time, and the frustrations that I have concerning my body image and youth that seem to be slipping away from me. He sees it all. Just knowing that brought me so much peace and comfort! In Genesis, Hagar, Abraham's mistress, fled after Sarai, Abraham's wife, treated her horribly. She ran into the desert hurt, broken, and no doubt disappointed. It was God who came and found her,
saw her, inquired of her, and gave her direction and wisdom for her life. How comforting!! Hagar exclaimed,
“You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me." I love that! To this day, whenever I am feeling alone, overwhelmed, and tired. I remember that God is El Roi, the God who sees me. I find such comfort in my heart and soul that
He observes my wanderings and my sleeping, my waking and my dreaming, and He knows everything I do in more detail than I even know. What a wonderful God we serve! I hope you find encouragement that no matter what you are doing at this moment, all the tears unseen, the struggles, and heartaches unspoken.... He sees them all. And loves you.
Love, The Mrs.